Uncle Josh Preambles the Whole30

Like many Americans, I have an unhealthy relationship with food. As a teenager a large supreme pizza from Shakey’s was a snack. A two-liter bottle of Coca-Cola was a thing I picked up from the 7-11 and finished by the end of trip. My memories of vegetables requiee a can opener. 

I was never one for self esteem, figuring it was a quality for other people to enjoy. I was married and divorced by the time I was 22 and I turned up a snotty vegetarian tipping the scale at 300 pounds. Giving up on vegetarianism got me to 320, easy. By the time I was 29, I had married the most fabulous woman in the world who loves me despite myself. I lost my job two months before he wedding and fell back into depression and back into food.

Being broke, newly married, and living in a dump did little to pick me up. We ate Hamburger Helper four of five times a week. Food was the frenemy.

So I put my foot down and insisted that we stop with HH, and we started cooking and lost a little weight and felt better. I tried strength training and made some progress. My back went out at regular intervals and things fell apart.

In 2013 we got serious about getting strong. A chiropractor turned my attention to Mark Rippetoe and his Starting Strength program. Our training went better. My food problems did not go away and I finally joined my wife and Mother-in-law at Weight Watchers. I lost 27 lbs then gained them right back with the new program last December.

I tell people that strength training starts in three phases: in the first week you feel like you’ve been  hit by a brick wall. In the second week you feel like a brick wall. In the third week  you go through the brick wall.

As I read testimonails and Whole30 stories I hear the same sort of thing. Disrupting your diet can cause mood swings. Sometime this weekend we are supposed to face the dreaded KILL ALL THE THINGS day. This is not supposed to be easy in the beginning. Fortunately, we’ve already done one of these things. We’ve gone through Starting Strength. We’ve hit walls and pushed through them. 

We’ve also ramped up to it. We made the decision to start back in early August. Stephanie was working sixteen-hour days and I had lost my early morning writing time and we needed to do something. So we decided on September First. Life is pretty much normal in September. We are only working one job each now. We have the time and energy to devote to this project.

The ramp up period has allowed us to transition into mostly Whole30 meals. We have put together our own vinaigrettes and mayonnaise. We have packed salads into mason jars for lunch. We have reduced our suger intake quite a bit so when we start tomorrrow it won’t be (hopefully) that much of a shock to our systems.

We will explore new foods. We will give up rice and pasta and bread and cheese for a month. I won’t take communion. I will also forgo birthday cake. It will be hard, but we’ve done hard things before. 

Uncle Josh Preambles the Whole30 was originally published on Uncle Josh Talks Too Much


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About Uncle Josh

I am a genre writer from the Great Metropolitan Rain Forest.

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